


Pseudoephedrine

by thecoloursinthegravel



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Jealousy, M/M, Manipulation, Unrequited Love, one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 06:15:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11640651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecoloursinthegravel/pseuds/thecoloursinthegravel
Summary: Pseudoephedrine: A nasal decongestant drug that, when abused, causes an unpleasant high. Symptoms include increased heart rate and blood pressure, nausea, restlessness, dysphoria, feelings of disconnection to reality, severe anxiety, and paranoia.//Luke falls asleep easily that night, wrapped around Ashton like how silk dresses cling to skin in the wind. Luke is stuck to Ashton in a way he hopes is delicate. A ringing in his ears suggests the wind has turned into a storm.He does not mind.





	Pseudoephedrine

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am currently very ill and hoping to go to a chronic pain inpatient programme across the country as nothing has helped to ease the pain and I seem to only be getting worse and worse. I'd love to get back to writing and I miss posting on here every day. Absolutely no pressure at all, but if you have a little to spare and have enjoyed any of my writing, I would be so, so grateful if you would consider helping me raise the funds to travel to this hospital. 
> 
> If you wouldn't mind please looking at my ko-fi account: ko-fi.com/thecoloursinthegravel
> 
> Thank you so much for reading :)  
> P.S. Sorry it isn't a link and you have to copy and paste!

After shows when adrenaline races and every part of Ashton feels invincible, he takes that energy out on Luke in the best way.

They end the nights with Luke’s body pressed against the wall of the dressing room, hands grabbing, mouths hungry, bodies hungrier.

When Luke’s head gets thrown back in euphoria, fingers digging into Ashton’s shoulders, his name dropping from Luke’s mouth like a prayer, Luke doesn’t see anything, feel anything, _know_ anything, other than Ashton. Luke almost forgets his own name.

They still sleep in separate beds. Every night, when they’re both done, Ashton kisses Luke on his right temple and says, “’Til next time,” with a chuckle before letting Luke drop to the floor on shaky legs.

The journey back to the hotel feels cold to Luke. He reasons with himself that it is the sweat cooling on his skin. When he looks over at Ashton in the taxi, he wonders if Ashton feels cold too. He sees the contented half smile on his face and thinks that he does not. Luke doesn’t know why this bothers him.

When Luke lies in bed at night, alone, he stares at the ceiling for a good long while. He can’t sleep very much these days. He isn’t sure why. When he rolls over and sees his phone light up with a message from Ashton, telling him how well he did in the show that night, he starts to understand.

The days are normal. Ashton treats him like the best friend he is and nothing is different. Luke’s a bandmate, a best friend, but he’s nothing more than that.

It’s comfortable, familiar, how it should be. The four of them are friends. Luke laughs all the time around Ashton; a full, proper laugh that makes Luke’s eyes narrow and his cheeks ache. Ashton’s a great friend. Ashton makes Luke happy.

Most of the time.

Sometimes though, Ashton makes Luke really, really sad. Luke at first thinks he doesn’t know why. Then Luke stops lying to himself and looks at Ashton, really looks at him, as he pulls his shirt back over his head after another post-show fuck, and he knows he can’t do this anymore. Being with Ashton without being with him is too painful. Luke wishes he didn’t know why that was. But he does. He knows.

So he tells Ashton this. Says he can’t keep doing this, they need to stop, someone’s going to get hurt. Ashton looks disappointed before he asks, “Who’s going to get hurt?” Luke is too much of a coward to say “Me.”

Ashton drops it anyway, nodding and saying that Luke’s right, maybe it’s for the best. It doesn’t look like he believes that.

The days stay the same, they’re still best friends. Ashton still makes Luke laugh so hard his sides start to hurt. But at night, when the show’s over and Luke is shaking with the rush of it all, he finds himself silently begging for Ashton to lock the door behind him and take what’s his. Luke finds he has to remind himself, constantly, why that would be a terrible idea. But he’s so weak. And Ashton’s so… Ashton.

That’s why it only takes five days and four shows before Luke is practically throwing himself at Ashton, curling his fingers in his hair and pushing messy, desperate kisses into his neck.

“Please,” he finds his way to Ashton’s lips, “fuck me,” Ashton kisses back, hard, “ _please_.”

Ashton doesn’t question it.

They spend the night making up for lost time; expelling built-up energy and chasing highs.

Luke thinks he was right to do this again, he thinks how good this is, how great Ashton is to him. In Ashton’s arms, he forgets what it’s like to feel half empty.

But the night ends. The night always ends, Luke knows it does. Which is why it shouldn’t have hit him so hard when his entire body felt cold the second Ashton kissed his temple and stood up to get dressed.

“You can- you can stay here tonight, if you want.” Luke chances an ask.

“Thanks man but I’m really tired, think I should just get some rest.” Ashton says with a cheeky smile.

“Oh no, I didn’t mean-” Luke’s confidence falters, but he tries again, “I mean, you could stay and sleep. In my bed. With me. If, if you want.” Luke cringes at the sound of his own voice. He knows he sounds pathetic and it’s prickling his skin with embarrassment.

“Oh.” Ashton’s eyebrows raise slightly, “Oh right. Um… Yeah, sure.”

Luke’s stomach fills with butterflies and his lips quirk into a smile of their own accord.

“Actually, no.” Ashton’s eyebrows stitch together and he shakes his head. “I think you were right before, about someone getting hurt?” Luke nods his head slowly and all he can think is _no no no no no no no._ He can feel his face drop. “I think we should maybe not cross that line. If that’s okay?”

“Yeah, yeah ‘course it is.” Luke hopes he doesn’t sound as disappointed as he feels. “Probably for the best.”

Ashton smiles at Luke and walks over to him to place a kiss on his forehead, “See ya in the morning, kiddo.”

Luke doesn’t take his eyes off Ashton as he crosses the room and closes the door behind him. The room feels bigger all of a sudden. Luke feels small.

Luke takes his time to think things over. He thinks about himself, and how utterly stupid he must be to fall for his best friend. He thinks he should have never let it get this far. He thinks his brain is a wreck and it’s all his fault.

He thinks about Ashton, and how much he means to him. He thinks about the parts of Ashton he loves the most and gets lost in a sea of his _everything_. He thinks about the moments where all that mattered was Ashton’s arm wrapped around his shoulders as they sat up against the headboard of mediocre hotel beds, watching whatever was on the TV and letting time go slow for a little while.

He thinks about Ashton’s unfaltering ability to make Luke feel better. Like when Luke couldn’t sleep on the tour bus, so Ashton would pull him into his bunk and made him talk until his throat hurt and he couldn’t think anymore because he’d spilled every word stuck in his head out into the open. Ashton made Luke talk until he felt light again. And without that weight laying heavy in his head, Luke found sleep. It seemed he always did next to Ashton.

He thinks about feelings. And he decides they are stupid, nasty things. He thinks about himself again and he wishes he was better. He wishes he was someone that could mean more to Ashton than a late-night fuck. He then thinks he’s being unreasonable. He knows he means more than that to Ashton. He just wishes, selfishly, that he could mean the most.

And then, naturally, his thoughts loop back around to Ashton. Luke mulls over what he would do if Ashton loved him back. Luke thinks they’d buy a house somewhere, he doesn’t care where, and they’d have a dog. Two dogs, maybe. One could be Ashton’s favourite and the other could be Luke’s. They’d walk the dogs every day in the little neighbourhood they lived in. They’d walk around the local park, hand in hand, and Ashton would be laughing so hard at something Luke said. His face would light up, his dimples showing as he doubled over himself, struggling to keep a hold of the dog’s lead. Luke would be smiling goofily back, feeling himself giving Ashton heart-eyes, but he wouldn’t care because Ashton was all his and he’d be allowed to stare at him unashamedly like a love-struck school boy. They were in love. That’s what people in love do.

Then maybe they’d go home and make dinner together, Ashton in charge of the sauce while Luke would be delegated to just stirring the pasta. They’d laugh and Luke would moan, half-heartedly, about what a menial job he had. Ashton would come up behind Luke and wrap his arms around him, tucking his head into Luke’s neck. And Ashton would tell him that he loved him. Maybe Luke would turn around and kiss Ashton, because he could, and maybe he wouldn’t stop for a while. Because he could.

Then they’d sit down to overcooked pasta and homemade carbonara sauce, dogs laying under the table at their feet. And halfway through the meal, when they’d slipped into such comfortable silence, Luke would look over at Ashton, and feel whole.

Luke knows he would, if Ashton loved him back.

Luke can feel his heart drop in his chest. Ashton, he knows, does not love him back.

That night, Luke doesn’t sleep. He thinks he’s forgotten how to.

The next morning the boys comment on Luke’s dark circles and flat hair, asking if he’d slept at all. Luke brushes it off with a joke and pretends to be offended. As soon as the laughter has died down and Michael and Calum are back to chatting about their own antics last night, Ashton turns to Luke in the seat next to him.

“You okay, buddy?” Ashton looks so sincere and his eyes are filled with warmth. Luke’s chest feels empty.

“Yeah.” He pulls his mouth into a tight-lipped smile, heart only breaking as much as he will let it, “I’m fine.”

As Ashton returns the smile and squeezes Luke’s knee under the table, Luke wonders if that will ever be true again.

 

\---

 

Luke finds comfort in pretending. He starts building a world around just the two of them; Luke and Ashton only, no one else allowed. Every moment they’re alone he spends the whole time pretending they’re together. They’re boyfriends. They’re in love. He puts his arms around Ashton and nuzzles his head into his shoulder. He looks over at him and smiles fondly. He tells Ashton things he loves about him, though he doesn’t use the word love. He pretends it’s part of their relationship; a game they play. They don’t want to jinx it so they don’t say it out loud. It works. It makes Luke feel okay, for a little while. There’s no harm in pretending. Is there?

After a while, Luke decides he needs more. Luke starts grabbing on to Ashton’s arm as he’s about to leave his room at night. Luke starts telling Ashton he needs to talk, that it’s important. Ashton gets worried, of course. Because Ashton’s nice like that. Ashton’s lovely. Ashton would do anything for Luke and Luke knows that. Luke feels guilt in his throat as he lies and tells Ashton he’s been bad lately. Ashton knows what ‘bad’ means. Ashton would never leave Luke when he was bad.

So he stays. And he makes Luke talk until his throat hurts. Except this time Luke doesn’t feel light when he’s done, he just feels guilty. But he also feels good too, because Ashton stayed all night just _listening_ to him and gosh isn’t that the best? How could he not feel loved when Ashton does things like that? Luke’s got all this extra time with Ashton that no one else gets. Luke gets 3am Ashton. Sleepy, thoughtful, real as anything Ashton. That’s what counts.

Once he starts asking Ashton to stay, he can’t stop.

They spend countless nights together, Luke clinging to Ashton as he’s about to go, looking at him with wide eyes, saying, “Ash, I need you tonight. Please stay.”

Ashton never says no. He always stays and he always listens. He starts to curl Luke up in his arms, wrapping them around him like Luke was going to fall apart if for one second he let go. Luke thinks that isn’t far from the truth. Just… in a different way to how Ashton thinks he’ll fall apart. A different reason why. Luke knows it’s wrong to lie about something like this but he can’t help it. He’s finally got Ashton to stay. He’s finally got him. He doesn’t think he can let him go.

After a while Ashton stops going to leave and instead just settles in next to Luke, pulling Luke’s head towards him to tuck into his neck as he rubs soothing circles into the small of his back. He stops waiting for Luke to say he needs to talk and just starts saying, “Tell me.” into Luke’s hair. Then he waits. He listens and Luke spews out fake fears and exaggerated feelings. He makes a point of stopping every now and then to just take Ashton in. Ashton thinks it’s because Luke’s trying not to cry. It only makes everything more believable. Luke’s skin crawls with disgust for himself when he realises he’s happy about this. He should be ashamed.

In the daytime, Calum starts to notice the dark circles under Ashton’s eyes. He makes a point of asking Ashton, every morning, if he’s sleeping okay. Ashton always throws him a grateful smile for the concern but he brushes it off or makes some excuse like “It’s too hot to sleep right now” or “I was on my phone too late, my bad.” Ashton would never tell on Luke. He’s too thoughtful to let anyone else know Luke’s to blame for the hollowness of his face and the constant yawning.

Calum doesn’t drop it. Luke isn’t surprised – Ashton looks a mess. He’s getting even less sleep than Luke nowadays. Luke knows in the few hours he gets to sleep after he’s done talking at night, Ashton stays awake with worry for his friend. The friend he truly believes is falling apart in front of his eyes. Luke tries not to think about it too much; it makes him feel sick when he does.

Calum pushes Ashton to talk to him, tell him what’s really going on. When Calum follows Ashton to his room, Luke sits outside the door and listens to what they’re saying. Luke doesn’t know why he’s doing this. Luke doesn’t know why he’s doing a lot of things lately.

Luke can hear Calum beg Ashton to talk to him. He can hear Ashton promise Calum it’s nothing, really, and that he should stop being so worried. He’ll get no sleep if he keeps being so worried.

Calum goes down a list of possible reasons, Luke supposes to see if any get a reaction out of Ashton. He can hear the desperation in Calum’s voice. It makes Luke feel a little odd, hearing Calum care about Ashton so much. That’s not Calum’s job. That’s Luke’s. Ashton isn’t Calum’s boyfriend. They aren’t together. He needs to leave Ashton alone and stop being so clingy.

Calum asks if he’s lonely. If he’s been having nightmares. If he’s overthinking things. If the bed’s uncomfortable. Ashton sighs and says that yeah, he guesses his bed is a bit uncomfortable actually, so that probably doesn’t help. Luke knows he’s lying. Ashton’s lying for Luke. He can feel his lips curl up at the edges.

It doesn’t last long, though. Luke’s stomach drops to his feet when he hears Calum offer to share his bed with Ashton. Luke doesn’t like that idea. Luke doesn’t like that idea at all. He considers standing up, entering the room, telling Ashton he needs to talk, giving him that look that Ashton knows all too well. He doesn’t, not yet.

He stays put long enough to hear Ashton thank Calum for the offer and tell him he appreciates it, but it really isn’t necessary; he’ll be fine. Luke doesn’t hear anything for a while and he isn’t sure whether Calum’s sitting there looking at Ashton with that face he makes when he doesn’t know whether to let something go or not; or if they’re hugging. Having a moment. Luke hopes it isn’t the latter.

When the door opens suddenly, all three of them jump in surprise.

“Luke, what are you doing?” Calum asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Luke hates his stupid eyebrows. What is it any business of Calum’s what Luke’s doing outside _Ashton’s_ room? Calum doesn’t own Ashton’s space. Calum doesn’t own Ashton. Ashton isn’t his, Ashton is Luke’s. Ashton is Luke’s, Ashton is Luke’s, Ashton is _Luke’s._

“Luke?” Ashton says his name this time and he snaps out of it, looking up at Ashton with wide eyes, blinking slowly and letting Ashton’s brain do the rest. It works.

Ashton turns to Calum and thanks him again, subtly suggesting he should go. Calum looks between the two of them and nods slowly, before his eyes land on Ashton once again. “The offer’s still there, if you need it.”

“Thanks, Cal.” Ashton smiles at him before he turns to go. Once he’s out of earshot, Ashton looks down at Luke still sat on the floor and asks, “Bad again?”

“Bad again.”

Ashton guides Luke into his room and Luke doesn’t miss the crease of worry between his brows. Luke grinds his teeth and swallows back the bile rising in his throat. He has to do this. It’s the only way. Luke needs Ashton. He might go mad without him.

Luke might go mad.

 

\---

 

In the following weeks, Luke starts to notice Calum more. Specifically, he starts to notice how much time Calum spends around Ashton. And the things he says to Ashton, the things he does with Ashton.

It bothers Luke, the way Calum acts around him, like he’s infatuated with him or something. And the worst part is that Ashton responds to it. He smiles brightly when Calum brings him food or something to drink. He laughs wholeheartedly when Calum pokes him and says “Ash, look at this, you’ll love it, it’s so funny,” and shows him something on his phone. He puts his arm around him on the back of the sofa when Calum sits next to him a little closer than is really necessary.

They start going on adventures by themselves; just the two of them. Luke can’t remember whether they’ve always done that or if this is a new thing. His head is spinning too much to think straight.

The whole time they’re out Luke paces back and forth in his room, checking his phone constantly for pictures, posts, anything from the two of them. When they leave to go hiking one day, Luke sneaks into Ashton’s bed and curls up in it, breathing in his scent. He starts crying after an hour of picturing the two of them together and doesn’t stop until he hears the front door slam shut.

The next night, Luke feels something crawl up his back as he watches Calum lean into Ashton on the sofa before they go on stage. He feels something in the pit of his stomach when Ashton laughs at something Calum says. He feels his face get hot and his chest go tight when Ashton slaps Calum’s bum as they walk to the stage door. He feels like throwing up when he sees the wink Ashton gives Calum when he turns around and asks Ashton to do it again.

After the show, Luke makes sure Ashton remembers who makes him feel good. He makes sure Ashton can’t forget that it’s _Luke_ that would do anything for him. He can give Ashton more than overdone cheese toasties and shitty Youtube videos. He grabs and bites and moans and begs Ashton to do what he wants. He gets on his knees and does whatever he can to make Ashton forget about Calum entirely. When Ashton throws his head back against the dressing room door, fingers curled in Luke’s hair so tightly Luke’s going a little dizzy, he thinks he’s won.

The next day, when he comes down to breakfast and sees Ashton serve Calum up a pancake with a cheesy grin on his face, he thinks he might have just played himself.

 

\---

 

He doesn’t know why, but one night, when he’s asked Ashton to stay, he stills in Ashton’s arms and says, “I want to hurt myself.” He doesn’t know why he said it. He didn’t mean it. But one look at Ashton’s paling face and it drives him to say it again. Luke’s heart fills with love at Ashton’s fear and concern. It makes him feel wanted. It makes him feel important. It makes him feel loved, knowing that Ashton is scared.

Ashton grabs the sides of Luke’s face and a tear slips down his cheek. Luke wants to cry too but with joy. Luke can hear the little voice in the back of his mind telling him how wrong it all is. Luke decides to ignore it.

Ashton’s voice is so soft it’s close to breaking when he says, “ _Luke_.”

Luke breathes in and leans forward to kiss Ashton. Ashton pulls back a bit, mouth open, confused, still scared for Luke. Luke just looks in his eyes and leans forward again, kissing him on the mouth. Ashton doesn’t kiss back. Luke keeps kissing him anyway, heart fluttering in his chest. This is different; they aren’t fucking after a show right now. This is crossing a line into something new. Or at least it would be if Ashton would just kiss him back.

Luke stops and pulls away. He can see himself. He knows what he is. He knows. He doesn’t want to though, he doesn’t want to feel guilty. He doesn’t want to stop.

Ashton continues staring at Luke, face a whirlwind of emotion and confusion. He looks like he wants to say something but he can’t find the words. Luke lets himself cry as he says he’s sorry. Ashton moves a hand to the back of Luke’s neck as he pulls him in for a hug. It all feels wrong in his head; but so, so incredibly right in his heart. Luke nuzzles his face against Ashton and thinks about what colour tie he should wear on their wedding day. He decides on red.

 

\---

 

Luke listens to Ashton talking to Calum through the door of his bedroom again. He saw them both go in there ten minutes ago and he’s been sitting outside ever since, ear pressed to the crack where the door closes. They’ve got thin doors so Luke can hear every word. He slows his breathing when they lower their voices.

_“I’m not gonna let it go, Ashton, something’s wrong.”_

_“Nothing’s wrong, Cal, can you please drop it now.”_

_“No. No I’m not gonna drop it, you idiot, I’m worried about you. You look ill.”_

_Ashton huffs a laugh, “Thanks.”_

_“I’m not joking, Ash. You don’t look well. You need to go to a doctor.”_

_“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m fine.”_

_“Ashton! Look at yourself! Seriously, when’s the last time you had a decent night’s sleep, huh?”_ Luke can hear the worry in Calum’s voice as it drops and makes him sound small, _“You won’t even tell me why you’re not sleeping.”_

Luke doesn’t hear anything for what feels like an uncomfortable amount of time before Ashton speaks up, _“I can’t tell you why. But I’m okay, really.”_

_“Ash-”_

_“If I promise to go to the doctor will you please just drop it? For a little while, at least?”_

It’s quiet again.

_“Fine. As long as you let me take you.”_

_“Deal.”_

_“You’re an idiot. And you fucking scare me sometimes. But you know I only nag ‘cause I love you, right?”_

_“I know,”_ Luke can hear Ashton’s soft laugh. “ _Love you too, man.”_

Luke’s stomach twists and he digs his nails into the palm of his hand, gritting his teeth. He hears footsteps and stands up quickly, stepping away like he was just walking past.

The door opens and he’s met with a puffy eyed Calum. Luke guesses he must have been crying. Luke ignores the voice in his head that says _good_.

“Ashton in there?”

“In his room? Yeah bro, he’s there. I wasn’t just hanging out in Ashton’s room by myself.” Calum chuckles, and Luke thinks he’s mocking him. Luke thinks he knows. He’s about to talk back when Ashton appears behind Calum.

“Oh, Luke, you alright man?”

“Yeah, fine, just wondering if you had a moment to talk.” He looks pointedly at Calum, “In private.”

Calum clearly gets the hint and walks away. But Luke can see him, out the corner of his eye, look back at the both of them, eyebrows furrowed. Luke doesn’t care.

“Bad again?”

“No, actually.”

Ashton’s eyebrows raise in pleasant surprise, a smile breaking on his face.

“I was just gonna ask if you wanted to go out tonight.”

“Oh, I’m really sorry Luke, I had plans with Calum.”

Luke’s head turns stormy and he’s not sure how well he’s kept it from his face. “That’s fine, I guess. I just, haven’t been out in a while and I thought this would be good for me and you said anything you can do to help and-”

“Yeah, no, of course!” Ashton says like he’s scolding himself. “You’re right, yeah, I’ll just cancel with Calum, no big deal. I’m sure he’ll be fine with it. This is more important.”

Luke hears: _You are more important._ His face lights up. “Thanks Ash, that’s great! I was thinking we could go to that shitty bar down the street? Nowhere too far so we can walk there and back.”

“Sounds good. Shall I ask Mike and Cal if they wanna come too? Since I’m cancelling on Calum anyway, it might sound better if I’m just ‘rearranging plans’, you know?” He says through a laugh.

Luke doesn’t like that at all. “I was actually hoping it would just be the two of us.”

“Sure, no prob. I guess I’ll let Calum know he’s spending his evening with Michael then, shall I?” He makes a mock scared/disgusted face and heads towards the stairs. Luke beams after him and can’t stop himself from calling tonight a date in his head.

 

\---

 

That night they eat dinner together, all four of them. Nothing fancy, just Chinese takeaway and beers. Luke lays with his back against the arm of the sofa, feet sprawled out over Ashton’s lap. Ashton’s balancing his plate on the other armrest because of this, eating at an awkward angle and looking uncomfortable.

“Ashton, you don’t look comfortable, mate.” Michael comments through a mouthful of noodles.

“Yeah, that looks kinda tricky, eating like that.” Calum adds.

Luke contains the glare he wants to send his way. Why does he care so much anyway? Ashton can sit and eat how he wants.

“I’m fine. I’m just adjusting to it.” Ashton chuckles into his forkful of food.

Calum isn’t convinced. “Luke, maybe you could move your feet? He could eat easier then.”

Luke wants to stand up and punch him. How _dare_ he try and turn this on Luke. How dare he try and push Ashton away from him. How _dare_ he try and break them apart. Luke curls his toes into Ashton’s thigh in defiance, letting the glare out in full force in Calum’s direction.

“Oh, no, there’s no need. Really, I’m fine.” Ashton answers for him.

“You keep saying that Ashton and it keeps not being true.” Calum’s staring back at Luke, meeting his eye, jaw twitching a bit. There’s something deeper behind his words.

“Cal, not this again. You promised.”

“Something’s going on.” Calum doesn’t break his gaze on Luke. “You’ve not been right for ages and I want to know why. I was gonna leave it but you cancelling on me tonight for Luke at the drop of a hat is just another thing in a long list and I want to know what’s going on.”

“What d’you mean another thing in a long list? What are you on about, I’ve never cancelled on you before?” Ashton seems confused and edging on annoyed, while Michael’s just staring on, baffled.

“Something weird is going on and Luke’s involved.” Calum looks over to Ashton and he has a look in his eye that makes him appear desperate, like he knows he sounds crazy but he needs Ashton to listen. “I know it. He keeps hanging around outside your door-”

“Like you’re not in there enough.” Luke lets his voice cut through Calum’s.

Calum ignores it. “And when you see him you send me away like something’s all hush hush and secretive. You come out hours later looking halfway _broken_. It’s scary. I’ve seen you up in the middle of the night, too, coming out of Luke’s room. You don’t look good. I only noticed it a couple of times recently and I thought at first you were just going to him because you couldn’t sleep. But everything together… it doesn’t seem right. There’s more to it. I fucking know there is so please, _please,_ just tell me before I go insane!” Calum yells his last words, face turning red, eyes pleading with Ashton.

Ashton’s eyes are wide and his mouth is hanging open just a touch.

The room goes silent.

Ashton looks over to Luke and Luke begs him with his eyes not to say anything. Ashton’s face looks wracked with guilt; like he can’t, for one second, keep lying to his best friend. But he knows he can’t tell on Luke, either. That has to be Luke’s decision.

“Please, Luke.” He looks so desperate and sad. Luke feels awful, horrible, disgusting. But he can’t have him tell. He can’t, it would ruin everything. Luke couldn’t possibly deal with that. He can’t lose what he’s built with Ashton.

So he shakes his head slowly, keeping his eyes locked with Ashton’s.

Ashton sighs heavily, dropping his head into his hands. “I’m sorry, Cal. I can’t.” It comes out mumbled and directed to the floor.

Calum looks on the verge of tears he’s so frustrated. He turns to Luke. “Luke. Please. Whatever you’re doing to him, it’s not right. He looks _ill._ ”

“Hang on a fucking second-” Luke starts, anger steaming out of him.

“No, wait, he isn’t doing anything. You can’t blame him.” Ashton’s brought his head up from his hands now. He really does look exhausted.

“He’s clearly-”

“Luke, please just let me tell them, they’ll understand.” Ashton pleads.

“Understand what?” Michael pipes up, too concerned to keep quiet anymore.

“Ashton. Don’t.” Luke sits forward and puts a hand on Ashton’s arm, curling his fingers around the muscle there. “Please.” He begs, so quiet only Ashton could hear.

Ashton just nods and slumps back in his seat. “It’ll all be fine, Cal. I’m taking care of it.”

“Taking care of _what_ , Ash? Yourself? Are you taking care of yourself? Or do you not bother anymore?”

“What will we understand?” Michael’s not getting anywhere with an answer but he tries nonetheless.

Ashton doesn’t hear Michael, all of his attention turned on Calum. “Sometimes I’m not the most important thing in the world, Calum.”

“Yeah you fucking are.” He stills for a moment, as if he’s just realised what he’s said. “Or you should be to yourself, at least.”

Michael stands up abruptly, “I’m gonna get another beer. Luke, you gonna join me?”

Luke knows what he’s doing. But there is no way in hell he’s leaving Ashton and Calum alone in a room together, not now.

“No, I’m good here, thanks.” He doesn’t look in Michael’s direction, too occupied with keeping an eye on Calum.

Michael sighs and moves out the room anyway.

Luke shifts to curl into Ashton’s side, wrapping his arms around one of Ashton’s and resting his head on his shoulder. He moves his lips to Ashton’s ear, “I don’t feel good.”

Luke can feel Ashton tense beneath him, his face contorting with indecision and worry. Ashton lets out a heavy breath and closes his eyes. “It’s okay, Luke,” He says under his breath as he opens his eyes again, “You’re okay. We can talk.” He smiles softly at Luke but his eyes are filled with sadness.

Luke hates that he’s doing this to him; he really does. But it’s not his fault, not really. If Calum had just kept his nose out of it Ashton would be happily enjoying his dinner right now. Calum ruins everything. This isn’t Luke’s fault, this is _Calum’s_ fault. Fuck Calum. Fuck him. He ruins _everything_.

Calum’s been watching the two of them, and he looks kind of disgusted. Luke thinks that disgust might be directed towards him. Luke wants Calum to know the feeling is mutual. Except… He’s not going to get much out of picking fights in front of Ashton. Ashton loves Calum too much for that. The thought makes Luke’s stomach turn.

No, he can get rid of Calum in a much more effective manner. Luke knows he’s not the crazy one. Calum is.

He just needs Ashton to know it too.

So he leans further into Ashton, wrapping an arm around his middle, before turning to face Calum. “You okay, Cal?” He says, voice soft and innocent as anything.

“Wha- no, I’m not okay, Luke.”

“Really? What’s up?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Hey, Cal, there’s no need for that.” Ashton cuts in. Luke holds back a smirk.

“There’s plenty of need for that Ashton ‘cause Luke’s turned into a fucking nut-job.”

“Cal-” Ashton’s voice has a warning tone to it, like he really doesn’t want to fight but he can’t let Calum badmouth Luke with the way he’s been lately.

Luke lets his eyebrows draw together slightly and pouts his bottom lip like he’s about to cry. “No, it’s okay Ash,” he keeps his voice small, submissive, “He’s right, anyway.”

Ashton turns to look Luke in the eye, speaking low so only Luke can hear him, “No he fucking isn’t Luke, you’re not a nut-job. You’re just ill. But I’m gonna help you, okay? We’re gonna get you some help.”

“I don’t wanna talk to anyone but you, Ash. It’s too hard.” Luke lets a tear out. He’s gotten good at crying on demand nowadays. It’s been useful.

“Then you don’t have to, okay? If that’s what you want, you can just talk to me.” Ashton doesn’t look like he knows whether that’s the right thing to do or not. In this moment, it seems like he’ll agree to anything just to make Luke feel okay.

“But what about Calum? Not telling him is making him hate you.”

Ashton’s mouth opens a fraction and he looks up to Calum. He raises his voice to a normal speaking level, “He won’t hate me. Will you, Cal?”

Calum looks a bit lost, desperately trying to shift through the scene in his head. “What, no, I’m never gonna hate you.”

Ashton gives him a small smile and turns back to Luke, voice low again, “See? It’s fine. We’ll be fine.”

Luke hugs Ashton tightly, burying his face in his chest, smiling to himself. “Thanks, Ashton. You’re so nice to me.”

Ashton rubs a hand soothingly over Luke’s back, “Of course I’m nice you, you numpty, I love you.”

Luke’s heart swells in his chest. “I love you, too.”

Luke can’t hear anything from Calum so he looks up, meeting his eye, “If you want, Cal, you can come tonight.”

“Huh?”

Luke will show Ashton just how nice he is. Luke’s a good person. Calum isn’t. Ashton will see that soon enough.

“To the pub. With me and Ash. And Michael, too, if he wants.”

“Oh, I don’t know, I’m a bit tired now.”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun!” Ashton chimes in. “Plus, we were gonna go out anyway, so it’s not like you’re losing sleep you wouldn’t have already lost.” Ashton says in his most convincing voice.

Michael enters the room with a heated-up brownie that he’s quickly shovelling in with a fork.

“Michael! Good timing! Luke was just saying it should be all four of us that go out tonight. What d’ya say? It’s just the pub down the road, nothing too fancy.” Ashton uses that irresistible charming face he makes when he wants something and soon enough Michael’s nodding through a mouthful of brownie.

“Yes! One down, one to go. Come on, Calum, it’ll be fun.” Ashton gives Calum puppy dog eyes and Calum groans before reluctantly agreeing, causing Ashton to cheer in response. Luke doesn’t like how excited Ashton is to have Calum come along, especially when Luke was coming already. He shouldn’t need anyone else. Luke bites back the jealousy.

 

\---

 

Later that night, the boys are in a cheap pub, throwing back bad beer and laughing until their sides hurt. It was how it should be. The four of them, laughing and chatting and being in each other’s company with such ease. Luke could trick himself into thinking he was happy just like this, he didn’t need anything else. What was he doing? Ashton still loved him as a friend and that was enough. Having Ashton at all was enough.

But as the night carried on, the more drunk they all got. Which means Calum started getting a little more affectionate than usual. Luke sits and watches as Calum throws an arm around Ashton’s shoulders, bumping his head against Ashton’s as he laughs. Ashton laughs back, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye and reaching for his drink.

Luke makes the snap decision to knock Ashton’s arm hard enough that he drops his drink on his lap.

“Oh my god, Ash, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, no, it’s fine. Don’t worry.”

“Here, let me get you cleaned up at least. C’mon, we’ll go to the toilets.”

“Thanks.” Ashton hiccups as he stands, drunk giggling at the sound.

“I can help too.” Calum starts to stand but wobbles a bit when he realises he’s more drunk than he thought.

“No, it’s fine. I did it, I’ll clean it up.” He sends Calum a smile and lets it drop the second he turns around.

They enter the single stall toilet and Luke locks the door behind them. He starts bunching up wads of paper towels and wetting them under the tap. Ashton is leaning against the wall, clearly using it to help keep himself upright. He has a soft smile on his face and he doesn’t look bothered at all.

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to spill your drink.” Luke says as he starts to wipe the patch of jeans that got the worst of the spillage.

Ashton takes the paper towels from him and finishes his work, dabbing somewhat sloppily. “Hey, don’t be! S’all good.” He says with a grin as he looks up at Luke.

“I feel really bad, these are your favourite jeans.”

“It’s fine, Luke, really. Accidents happen.”

“Let me make it up to you, at least.” Luke says with a smirk as he sinks down onto his knees.

Ashton catches on. “Luke-”

“Ssh, it’s okay. I want to say sorry properly.”

“No, really, you don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

“I don’t think we should do that now.”

“Why not?”

“Well, we’re in a pub, and the boys are waiting.”

“Who gives a fuck if the boys are waiting? They can entertain themselves.” Luke starts palming Ashton through his jeans. “In fact, Calum’s probably wishing he could do the same to Michael as we speak.”

“Really?” Ashton raises an eyebrow and his voice comes out strained.

“Really. Can you not see how he is around Mikey? He’s practically throwing himself at him.”

Ashton doesn’t look entirely convinced but he’s a bit distracted to think that deeply about it. Luke unbuttons and begins to pull the zip down on Ashton’s jeans, not taking his eyes off Ashton. “Now. Are you gonna let me make it up to you or not?”

Ashton nods quickly, choking out a moan as Luke pulls him from his jeans and starts working his hand over him.

“I love you, Ashton.” Luke says under his breath.

It doesn’t matter that Ashton doesn’t hear him. There’s only one person Ashton’s thinking about right now.

And it isn’t Calum.

 

\---

 

Not a week later, the boys have an incredibly important dinner they’re all required to attend. They’ll be in the company of prolific music producers, industry veterans and time-honoured artists, so they’re dressing up.

Luke smooths down his suit in the mirror and makes his way to the living room downstairs.

Luke enters the room slowly and leans against the doorframe. Michael notices his arrival and nods a “hey” in his direction. Calum is facing away from Luke and he’s mostly blocking Ashton’s view, so neither of them seem to realise he’s even there.

Ashton’s wearing a black suit with a black shirt, Luke’s decided on a navy suit with a white shirt, and Michael’s reluctantly wearing a dark grey suit with a white shirt.

Luke can only see Calum’s back from where he’s standing, but he’s got a well fitted black suit on.

They all made an effort and they look damn good. One look at Ashton and Luke is practically drooling.

Ashton’s running his eyes over Calum’s outfit, lifting an eyebrow and looking impressed. “A tie. Wow, someone’s grown up.”    

“Fuck off, it’s just a tie.”

“No, I wasn’t mocking you, I like it.”

“Really? You’re not being a dick?”

“When am I ever?” Ashton says with a smirk. “But I never said I wasn’t being a dick, I hadn’t started on your shoes yet.”

Calum looks down at his feet, “What’s wrong with my shoes?”

“Nothing.” Ashton says teasingly.

“Ash.”

“Nothing, they’re fine.”

“Shut up, what’s wrong with them?”

“You can’t tell me to shut up and then expect an answer.”

“Ashton!”

Ashton laughs and taps the side of his nose, Calum goes to whack him on the arm but he moves away quick enough to avoid it.

Without Calum blocking his view, Ashton spots Luke and says a cheery “Luke!” before receiving a hit around the head from Calum.

“Hey! No fair, I was distracted.”

“I’ll show you distracted, punk.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know, man, just tell me what’s wrong with my shoes.”

“Genuinely nothing. I was just being a dick.”

“I fucking knew it. And the tie?”

“The tie is good.” Ashton looks towards Luke with a grin, “Don’t you think, Luke?”

Calum turns around at this to show off his new tie, not distracted by fighting Ashton anymore.

The second he sees it, Luke wants to rip it off him.

Red.

It’s red.

That’s- That’s not his colour.

He can’t be wearing a red tie.

Not now. Not with Ashton. He can’t- he can’t stand next to Ashton in a suit in a _red tie_.

Luke’s meant to do that. Luke was going to wear a red tie for their _wedding_. What the _fuck_ is wrong with him?

Luke decided – he picked out the colour scheme. He decided on red. He was going to wear _red._

He can’t now. Everything is ruined.

Luke hates red. Hates it on ties. Hates it on Calum. Hates it hates it _hates it_ on ties on Calum while he’s standing next to Ashton. It isn’t right.

Luke hates red.

Luke hates Calum.

“It looks great.” Luke smiles. “Really great.”

He bites down on his tongue so hard he can taste blood.

 

\---

 

Luke’s sitting up against the side of the bath, knees tucked up to his chin. All night he’s had to watch Calum swan around in that red tie and perfect suit. And he stood so _close_ to Ashton. It looked like they were a couple.

_Red. Red. Why’d he have to pick red? Not right. Not right. It’s not right. Evil. Calum’s evil._

Luke had wanted to cry. And scream. And hit something until his knuckles turned bloody. He would have done but he hates red now. He doesn’t want anything to do with it.

“Luke?” Michael’s voice comes from the other side of the bathroom door. “You okay in there?”

“Yeah.” His voice comes out strange. He coughs. He’ll try again. “Yeah, Mike, I’m good thanks, mate.” Better.

“Okay, you’ve just… been in there a while.”

“Yeah, did you need the bathroom?”

“Oh nah, I was just checking you hadn’t fallen down the toilet or something.”

Luke laughs because he knows he should. “No, still very much above water, but thanks for checking.”

“Alright man, have fun.” Michael snorts and Luke can hear footsteps walking away. He’s alone. Good.

Good, it’s good to be alone. Good because then he can think.

He can think straight, _finally_ , finally he can think straight. No Calum to distract him. No Calum making stupid jokes and laughing obnoxiously. No Calum saying “Ash, Ash, Ash” over and over and over again. No clingy, grabby, obsessive Calum draping himself embarrassingly over Ashton at any chance he gets. No Calum. No Calum. No Calum, thank _god_.

But Luke knows he’s still there, he’s still out there in the house somewhere. Probably with Ashton. _Fuck._ Luke is so stupid. He should be with Ashton now.

Luke has to do something. They can’t go on like this.

Luke has to get rid of Calum. Before it’s too late.

He wraps his right hand around his left forearm and starts twisting the skin there in an attempt to quiet his mind. And it’s perfect. Luke looks down at his arm, at the red marks forming, and suddenly, he has the most wonderful idea.

He flushes the toilet and lets the tap run for minute before opening the door and yelling, “Mike! I’m done! Bathroom’s free if you want it!”

A sarcastic voice rings from the other end of the hall, “I’m good! But thanks for letting me know! Really glad I now have that information!”

Luke smiles, happy because he’s smart. He’s come up with such a brilliant plan. He hopes Ashton would be proud of him. He’s sure he would be.

Luke makes his way into his bedroom and closes the door behind him, sinking down on his bed as soon as he reaches it.

He lifts his left arm up and inspects it under the glow of his bedside lamp. The red marks are fading. Red marks won’t do - he has to go bigger.

The clock on his bedside table says 11:04pm. Too early. He’ll have to wait.

Luke switches his lamp off and turns over to lay on his side. He stares at the clock, blue light from the digital numbers lighting up his face in the dark. He sighs contentedly, setting an alarm for one forty-five am, then lets himself drift off to sleep.

When he wakes up, Luke gets to work right away. He sits up and places his hand around his forearm again, except this time he does not twist, he grabs. Hard. He presses his fingers into the muscle and bone, determined to leave bruises. Calum cannot deny bruises. Ashton has to believe bruises.

He’s been working out, just for Ashton. He wants to be in the best shape he can for the love of his life. So he’s strong. And it’s useful. He grips his arm tighter, grinding his teeth together at the pain.

He breathes through his nose and it’s strange, he thinks, how he, in his head, wants to bruise his arm, but his body so desperately wants him to stop. Luke thinks that’s funny; how two parts of you can disagree so strongly. There’s a weird feeling in his gut all of a sudden, and it’s a familiar one. Luke doesn’t like it much so he ignores it until it goes away.

He focuses on the pain instead. Then he focuses on the release when he finally lets go. He looks down at his work and feels warm inside. This is love.

Freshly forming bruises scatter Luke’s arm; red, slightly swollen marks that hint at a hand gripping too tightly. He knows they aren’t quite the right fingers in the right places but they look like finger bruises sure enough, and he hopes Ashton won’t be able to tell.

Now he just has to cry. Easy.

 

\---

 

Luke bursts into Ashton’s room at two o’clock in the morning, crying his eyes out and begging for Ashton to wake up.

Ashton gets up quickly, panicked and dazed, “Luke, Luke, what is it? What’s happened?” The worry in Ashton’s voice would have been sick making to Luke two months ago. Now he just feels giddy.

“Ash-” He sobs harshly as he tears his fingers through his hair.

“Luke, hey, hey, it’s okay,” Ashton takes both of Luke’s hands and holds them in his own. He pulls Luke down to sit on the bed with him. “What happened, Luke? You need to tell me what happened.” There’s a thick urgency in every word.

“Nothing, nothing just-”

“Luke,” Ashton’s voice is filled with warmth, even if it is trembling a little. “Luke, love, you need to tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s Calum.” Luke chokes out.

“Oh fuck, is he okay? Do we need to call someone? _Shit._ Fuck, is he alright?” There’s panic set deep in Ashton’s eyes and Luke shivers at the sight of it.

Luke knew he would respond like this, he needs to calm down. He can’t be angry. He can’t let Ashton see the angry.

“Yeah, yeah he’s fine.”

Ashton’s eyebrows pull together. “Then what is it?” His voice is still soft, his concern focused back on Luke.

“He-” Luke hiccups through manufactured tears, “He saw me in the bathroom. With, with a razor-”

“Luke.” Ashton’s eyes widen with fear once again.

“I didn’t, I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t going to. For you. But he saw me and he grabbed my arm. He pulled me up and- and it hurt, he was holding so tight, I thought he was just stopping me but- but-”

“But what, Luke?” Ashton’s voice is slow, he’s backed his head away from Luke just a bit.

“He said I was pathetic. He said, ‘Is this why Ashton’s being all weird lately? Just because of you?’ and then he said it again. He said I was pathetic and- and it was no wonder you looked ill all the time. Because you were probably disgusted by me.”

Luke breaks down sobbing against Ashton’s chest. He can’t see his face but Luke can feel Ashton’s body tense beneath him.

“He-” Ashton swallows harshly, “He said _what?_ ” His voice is careful – uncertain, confused at the very least – but careful.

Luke’s voice comes out muffled against Ashton’s chest, “He said you were disgusted by me.” Luke moves his head to look up at Ashton, “Are you? Do I disgust you, Ashton? Do I?” He keeps his eyes wide, shining with tears and rimmed red.

“God, no. Never! Never, Luke.” Ashton holds Luke tighter and speaks into his hair, “Never.”

They spend a moment like this, Luke clinging to Ashton like he’s a child that’s afraid of the monster under his bed. After a while, Ashton speaks again. “He really said that? You’re- you’re sure he said that?”

He sounds like he doesn’t want to believe it; not for a second. Luke will make him believe it.

“I’m sure. I think he bruised my arm when he dragged me up off the floor, too.” Luke holds out his left arm for Ashton to see.

Ashton audibly gasps. He lets go of Luke to curl his fingers gently around Luke’s arm, inspecting the damage. “Oh my god. He really did.” Ashton looks like he’s about to throw up.

“I’m scared, Ash. He hates me. He thinks I’m disgusting. And what if I am? I know I am, I knew it all along. I can’t believe I’m so pathetic. Fuck.” He starts crying again, voice thick and shaky.

“Hey, hey,” Ashton grabs the sides of Luke’s face and makes Luke look at him. “You are _not_ pathetic, you hear me? You’re unbelievably strong. Calum- Calum-” Ashton looks lost. He doesn’t really know what Calum is.

“Calum hates me.”

Ashton doesn’t know what to say to that. He doesn’t understand. He’s starting to look angry though, really angry. Luke could have kissed him. He wants to, but he knows he has to wait.

Ashton peels himself away from Luke, saying “wait there” before leaving the room, face burning red and fists clenched.

“Ash-” Luke chases after him, smiling to himself for just a moment now that Ashton can’t see him. “Ashton, wait.”

Ashton turns around in the hallway and he looks like he’s about to explode.

“Don’t do anything, Ashton, he’ll know I’ve told you.”

“And?” Ashton struggles to keep his voice quiet and under control but he does it anyway, for Luke’s sake, “What he did to you- That’s, that’s beyond fucked up. He needs to see that.”

“No, please, wait. What- what if he does something? To me, you know, for telling. He looked really mad when he found me Ash, I thought he was going to hit me. I’m so scared. What if he hurts me?”

Luke sees Ashton’s jaw clench and his fists tighten. “I will never let that happen.”

“You can’t go to him, Ashton, please. What if he hurts _you_? I couldn’t live with myself, please Ashton, please don’t.”

“Luke, he needs to see how sick he is. He can’t just get away with saying something like that to you. And your arm! He left bruises, Luke. That’s fucked up.”

Luke steps closer to Ashton, features softening as he lets the fear go from his face slightly, “You’d really risk getting hurt for me?”

“Trust me, Luke, the only person with a risk of getting hurt is Calum.” Ashton shakes his head angrily and Luke knows it isn’t directed at him.

“You’re gonna hit him?”

Ashton takes in a deep breath as if he’s calming himself, “No. No, I’m not going to hit him. I just want to talk. Then I want to watch him pack a bag. He’s not staying here tonight.”

“Really?” Luke asks, in awe of what Ashton would do for him.

“Really. Look at you Luke, you’re terrified. He’s not staying under the same roof as you. Not while you’re still shaking, for god’s sake.”

“He does scare me a lot.” Luke lets his lip tremble a little, as if he was holding back another bout of tears.

“Then let me get rid of him. Please, Luke.”

“Yeah. Yeah. If you think that’s for the best. Thank you, Ashton.”

“Oh god, don’t thank me. You have nothing to thank me for.” Ashton turns around and makes his way down the hall, heading for Calum’s room.

Luke thinks he’s okay with red again. Ashton looks good in red.

 

\---

 

Luke sits in the hallway outside Calum’s room, knees tucked into his chest like usual, smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He knows he needs to keep his face solemn for when Ashton comes out again, but he just can’t help himself. His body is bursting with giddy joy, his lungs feel tight with excitement.

He can hear yelling, then a bang. Luke hopes Ashton’s just hit Calum. The bang could have been Calum hitting the wall, or the floor even. What an ecstatic making thought. Luke stifles a giggle, biting into the palm of his hand, smile now stretched wide across his cheeks.

Luke considers how long he should leave it before he asks Ashton to be with him, properly. Not just as a post-show fuck. Would tonight be too soon? Should he wait a bit? Ashton is probably going to be reeling from this for quite a while. He thinks his best friend spat degrading words and bruised his other best friend while he was in an incredibly vulnerable state. That’s got to seem like a massive character change for Calum, Ashton’s bound to feel confused. Hurt, even. Betrayed.

He probably thought his wonderful Calum would never do something like that. Good thing Luke showed him just how much of a monster Calum is capable of being. It doesn’t matter that Calum didn’t actually do what Luke’s claiming he did. Calum is a monster, through and through. Luke knows that. He _had_ to lie to get Ashton to see it too.

He had to.

For Ashton.

The door swings open and Calum’s storming down the hall, overnight bag slung over his shoulder. Luke catches the glint in his eyes. He’s been crying. How wonderful.

Ashton comes out a second later, and he’s sad.

“Ash?” Luke looks up at him, giving him all the sympathy he can muster in the midst of his own happiness.

“He’s gonna stay somewhere else for tonight. You’re okay.” Ashton sinks down the wall and embraces Luke in a warm hug.

Luke falls asleep easily that night, wrapped around Ashton like how silk dresses cling to skin in the wind. Luke is stuck to Ashton in a way he hopes is delicate. A ringing in his ears suggests the wind has turned into a storm. He does not mind.

 

\---

 

At half past seven in the morning, Luke opens the door to a battered looking Calum. His hair is a mess, the bags under his eyes sit heavy and dark, and his skin looks dry and pale. As soon as Calum looks up, his face hardens, anger spitting from his mouth as he says, “You.”

“Calum.” Luke says with the hint of a smirk. “What can I do for you?”

“What have you done, you actual psychopath?”

“That’s not a nice way to talk to your best friend, Cal. What if Ashton heard you? He’d probably be real upset.”

Calum’s jaw twitches and he runs a hand through his hair roughly. “What did you do? He thinks I hurt you.”

“You did, Cally, you really hurt me.” Luke stays leaning against the door frame, not letting Calum in.

Underneath all the anger, Calum is clearly distressed and immensely confused. He lifts his head slowly, looking Luke in the eye as he says warily, “What did you do, Luke?” and then, like an exasperated plea, “What did _I_ do?”

Luke’s expression turns stony. “You know what you did.”

“I really don’t. I- I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t understand any of this.”

“I know you’re in love with him.” Luke says, grinding his teeth together after.

“What?” Calum looks baffled, but Luke can see something in his eyes as he says it. Luke knows it means he’s right.

“You heard me.” Luke moves forward, into Calum’s space, leaving the door to swing shut behind him. “I know you’re in love with Ashton, you little slut.” Luke’s voice is filled with poison, built up jealously seeping out with every word he’s had to keep inside for so long. “I see the way you are with him. So clingy. So desperate for his attention like you _own_ him.”

“Luke-” Calum backs away, genuinely scared of his friend for the first time in his life. This isn’t Luke anymore, this is… Calum doesn’t even know who this is. Luke doesn’t care. Luke’s tired of pretending.

“You really think he’ll ever love you back? When he’s got me? Huh? You’re disgusting, Calum. Trying to pry Ashton away from the one person he’s _meant_ to be with. We’re in _love_ , Calum. Stop ruining everything. Stop ruining everything. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.” Luke’s inches away from Calum’s face now, chest heaving from heavy breaths.

“Luke-”

Luke’s voice keeps rising, “He doesn’t belong with you, Calum. He belongs with me. He’s not yours. He’s not, he’s not, he’s not!” Red hot tears stream down the side of Luke’s face as he lowers his voice once again. “Ashton’s mine, Calum. You are not. Ruining everything. Again.”

He steps backwards until his back hits the front door. Calum’s mouth is hanging open and he looks like he’s about to throw up.

“Bye-bye, Cal. I trust we won’t be seeing you again.” Luke says in a pretty voice.

Calum swallows thickly, blinking himself back to reality. “Fucking hell.” He says, voice barely above a murmur. Luke can see his brain working overtime to catch up. “Fucking hell.” He repeats, louder this time. “I’m sorry, Luke. Whatever made you like this, I’m sorry.” Calum doesn’t look angry anymore, he just looks scared.

“What are you talking about?” Luke asks with furrowed brows. He wasn’t expecting that.

“I can get you some help. I can, we can- we can get you some help together.” He says cautiously, like he’s afraid Luke might snap.

“Help? I don’t need help.”

“Luke, mate-”

“I’m not your mate.” He spits through gritted teeth. “Just leave me alone. Leave _Ashton_ alone. And leave Michael alone, too. He doesn’t need your toxic plans getting to him as well.”

“You’re- you’re not gonna do anything to Mike, are you? He doesn’t love Ashton. You’re safe, he’d never do anything.” Calum’s talking to Luke like he’s talking him off a ledge. Luke’s confused. Calum should be angry. Or crying. Why’s he talking about Michael?

“I’m not hurting anyone, Calum. I don’t do that. I don’t hurt people.”

“Luke, you need-”

“What I _need_ is for you to leave and never come back. I don’t understand why you’re making this so difficult. Ashton doesn’t want you, Calum. He’s never wanted you. Not in the way he wants me.”

“I understand that, Luke.” Calum’s eyes are still wide and he’s watching Luke’s every movement.

“Good. What are you waiting for then?” He crosses his arms over his chest, standing tall in front of the house door.

Calum silently picks up his bag and takes one last look at Luke before turning away. Luke spots something in his eyes as he does. Luke must have got it wrong, because it looked like… pity?

Luke turns into the house again, closing the door behind himself, satisfied with a job well done. He feels content for the first time in a while, like nothing can touch him. That is until he sees Ashton’s phone start buzzing on the coffee table with ‘Calum’ coming up as the caller ID.

Luke spits on the carpet before picking up the phone and accepting the call. He hums as a greeting, hoping Calum won’t catch on.

He doesn’t.

“Ash?! Ash, thank god you picked up. It’s Luke, man, he’s- he’s actually gone insane. I just spoke to him and he was saying all this stuff about how you and him were meant to be and that you were his, like you belonged to him, and that I was tearing you apart. You have to get out of that house, Ashton, I mean it. Run. Get Mikey and run. I honestly don’t know what he’s gonna do. He’s obsessed with you. He fucking scares me, he didn’t look like himself, I’m telling you. You have to believe me, Ashton, you have to get out of that house.” Calum sounds like he’s hyperventilating through the phone, his voice rushed and panicked and getting louder by the word. “Ashton? Ash, did you hear me? Are you there?”

Luke tuts through the phone. “It’s not very nice to spread lies about people, Cally. You’ll have him thinking I’m a serial killer next.”

“Luke…”

“Don’t call again, Cal. Call again, I ruin you.” Luke says in a measured tone before hanging up.

He walks into the kitchen, over to the full washing up bowl, and drops Ashton’s phone in the soapy water. “Whoops.” He says, voice calm as anything. He lets it sit at the bottom of the mini pool for a minute before fishing it out and placing it on the side.

Later that morning, he cries as he explains to Ashton he was just trying to get some washing up done and he wanted to listen to some music. He tells Ashton that his phone was upstairs so he thought Ashton wouldn’t mind if he borrowed his. It wasn’t Luke’s fault the phone slipped. He promises Ashton a new phone, a better phone. With a new number.

He promises Ashton he’ll make it up to him, like he always does.

He promises Ashton he’ll sort everything out.

Like he always does.

When Michael asks where Calum is, Ashton grimaces and says he isn’t staying here for a few days. Michael questions it constantly, not understanding why, until Luke pulls him into another room and tells Michael that Calum and Ashton have had a falling out, so he’s gone away to cool off.

Luke suggests Michael goes and finds him, he tells Michael he thinks Calum’s gone to stay with a friend. Luke scribbles down an address and Michael takes the bait, but not before checking Ashton would be okay too. Luke assures him he’s got it covered this end, that he’ll talk Ashton down while Michael does the same to Calum.

Soon enough Luke is left alone with Ashton, and he’s overjoyed. Luke knows he only has a couple of days before Mikey gives up looking for Calum and comes home; but it’s still something. He’ll send Michael on a wild goose chase of random addresses and poor suggestions in the meantime.

Ashton only starts to question the length of Calum’s disappearance and lack of contact the next day, to which Luke says he’s probably too scared to call. Or too busy thinking about what he’s done; feeling guilty. Ashamed, maybe. Ashton nods absentmindedly, thoughts swirling behind his eyes, before he turns his attention back on his phone. He doesn’t seem that happy about it.

Luke, however, is very happy.

 

\---

 

Two days of blissful alone-time with Ashton later, Luke can’t help it anymore. He has to tell Ashton. He has to be with him. Properly.

That night, he climbs into Ashton’s bed while he’s sleeping. He gazes at Ashton’s peaceful resting face and runs a hand down the side of it. Luke’s body swirls with happy adoration. He leans forward and kisses the tip of his nose, making him stir in his sleep. Luke moves his mouth to Ashton’s cheek and whispers, “Wake up, Ashton. Wake up.”

With all the touching and shifting, Ashton’s eyes crack open slowly. He leans back quickly in sleep-ridden surprise.

“Don’t jump, it’s just me.”

“Luke? What is it? Are you okay?” Ashton’s already got a morning voice at one am and Luke finds it so attractive he almost forgets what he’s there for and starts sucking on the skin where Ashton’s jaw meets his neck. He controls himself, though. When they fuck next it’s going to be because they’re a couple. It’s going to mean so much more than expelling after-show adrenaline. They won’t be fucking, they’ll be _making love_. Luke can hardly wait.

“I’m more than okay. I’m wonderful.” Luke answers with a goofy smile, staring into Ashton’s eyes like he wants to fall into them.

Ashton chuckles and it sounds a little off, “Have you taken something?”

“No, don’t be silly.” Luke laughs and curls himself up into Ashton, “I’m just happy. And I have some wonderful news.”

Luke knows this is it; this is the moment they finally admit what they’ve known all along. This is the moment they become boyfriends. Partners. _Lovers_. Yes, lovers. Luke likes that word. Because it’s all about the _love_ and they’re in _love_. This is the start of the rest of their lives together.

“What news could possibly be so wonderful you had to share it at one in the morning?” Ashton asks but Luke knows there’s no malice behind his words. Ashton looks happy for Luke. And Luke loves him for it.

Luke pulls back so he can see all of Ashton clearly. They’re lying side by side, facing each other in the bed. Luke thinks it’s perfect.

“Ashton Irwin,” Luke can hardly speak he’s smiling so much, Ashton seems to mimic this smile, “I am desperately in love with you. And I have been for so long now I can hardly remember a time when I didn’t. I love you, Ashton. I love you.”

The smile on Ashton’s face drops. “Oh… Luke…” He sits up, mouth open like he’s trying to find the words but they keep slipping away from him.

Luke sits up too, still blissfully caught up in his own emotions. “Isn’t this amazing? I’m in love with you. And I know you’re in love with me.” Luke says almost teasingly, “No one can fuck like that, _care_ like that, if they’re not in love.” He places a hand on Ashton’s knee over the covers, “We don’t have to hide it anymore, we can finally be together.”

Luke searches Ashton’s eyes and he looks almost… sad?

“Luke, I am so, so sorry.” The smile on Luke’s face falters slightly. “I just don’t feel that way about you. The sleeping together, that was just- that’s all it was. I’m so sorry.”

“What are you talking about?” Luke laughs nervously, he thinks Ashton’s playing a big joke on him. Silly Ashton. “Stop messing about, Ash, you can’t hide your feelings forever.”

Luke goes to tickle Ashton playfully but Ashton stops him. He looks serious. Something twists in Luke’s gut.

“Oh, love,” Ashton looks at Luke like he’s about to break his heart, his voice gets quiet, “I’m not messing about.”

Luke’s face has fallen completely, “But- but- I don’t understand? You said you loved me?”

“As a friend, Luke.” Ashton’s expression is riddled with pity and Luke feels a bit sick. This can’t be happening.

"But- but I did so much for you. For us."

"I'm sorry. I really, really am. I wish I felt the same but I just don't."

"No. No, you don't understand. We're meant to be together. It was fate! The things I did- I was just helping fate along. You don't understand, Ashton, we're meant for each other."

"Wait, what things?"

"I-" Luke cracks into a giggle, "You're gonna laugh," Ashton doesn't look like he's so certain of that, "You know how I've been bad recently?" Luke's still laughing, odd giggles escaping between words.

"Yeah..." Ashton asks warily, awkward huff of laughter leaving his lips.

"Well, I actually haven't! I've been fine!"

Ashton's face falls serious, "What?" 

"This whole time! I was just lying so I could spend more time with you." Luke's stopped laughing now and he's gazing into Ashton's eyes dreamily. "Isn't that romantic? I pretended to be ill... for love."

Ashton’s mouth is open a fraction and Luke doesn't understand it but he looks kind of appalled. "You were pretending? The whole time?" 

"Yeah! So you don't need to worry anymore, Ash, I'm fine." Luke winks at Ashton as if that is at all an appropriate thing to do in this moment.

"You said you wanted to hurt yourself." Ashton doesn't look right. He looks like he's learnt too much too quickly. He looks like he did when Luke told him Calum had been so cruel. 

Luke keeps his voice soft and low, leaning into Ashton's space. "I didn’t mean it. You were so caring when I said it, I just couldn’t help myself.”

Ashton leans back in response, “What about the Calum stuff? You said he caught you about to hurt yourself?”

“Made that up too.”

“But… the bruises…”

“I did ‘em myself, see!” Luke grips his left arm with his right hand and shows Ashton where he pressed down to make bruises. Ashton looks dizzy.

“Why? Why? Why would you do that?”

“He was trying to tear us apart, Ashy. He was getting in the way of our love.”

Ashton is shaking his head and backing as far away from Luke on the bed as the space allows. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He says in utter disbelief. “Why, _how_ could you do something like that?”

Luke thinks Ashton’s being a little over-dramatic. He sighs heavily but it’s still a fond sigh, he thinks Ashton just needs a bit of time to process things. “You’ll understand eventually. It’s not like I did much, anyway. I just said he was mean! But you, you knew deep in your heart that he had to go. That’s why you got so mad and kicked him out.”

“No, no, I kicked him out because I thought he’d viciously mocked you while you were about to _cut yourself_. I thought- I thought he was sick.” Ashton’s face is a funny colour and it looks like his breathing is a little off. “You, Luke, _you_ are the sick one.”

“Stop it, Ashton, it’s not funny anymore. You don’t have to keep the act up. I don’t really know what you’re doing but just know that I’m not falling for it. Now can you stop clinging to the edge of the bed and come here and kiss me?” Luke’s face breaks out in a smile again.

“Oh my god,” Ashton says under his breath. He scrambles out of the bed and stands by the door, facing Luke still sat on the bed, “Where’s Calum?”

“What?”

“What did you do to him?”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“We haven’t heard from him in nearly three days.” Ashton’s voice is slow, he emphasises each word, “What did you do to him?”

Luke looks offended that Ashton would suggest something like that. “I didn’t _do_ anything. I just spoke to him.”

“When?”

“The morning after you kicked him out,” Luke can see Ashton’s face twitch, “He came ‘round. I told him to leave us alone forever. He got all weird. But I suppose he wasn’t expecting me to know his dirty little secret.”

Luke gets up from the bed and walks towards Ashton, dropping his voice lower. “Did you know he was in love with you?” Ashton’s eyes flick over Luke’s face, “It’s true. He was. Or is, I suppose. He was jealous. Trying to take you from me. It was pathetic, and I told him that. Then I told him to go, and to never come back.”

Ashton looks angry and Luke’s still trying to figure out why when it looks like he’s about to say something, before he snaps his mouth shut again.

Luke continues. "He tried to warn you about me, isn't that ridiculous?"

"What?"

"Yeah, after I told him to go he phoned you, saying I was insane or something!" Luke barks a laugh, "How dramatic is that?" Luke shakes his head as if recalling a fond memory. "That's why I dropped your phone in the water. So I could get you a new phone with a new number and he couldn't contact you. Pretty smart, right?" Luke looks at Ashton with a grin. Ashton looks back at him like he's gone mad. Luke keeps seeing that face and he doesn't like it, doesn't like it at all.

"Get out of here, Luke." Ashton says through a stiff jaw.

"What?" Luke is suddenly overwhelmed with confusion.

"You heard me. I don't want to see you anymore. You need to leave."

Luke's mood shifts. This isn't how it was supposed to happen. Ashton isn't responding right. No no no, this is all wrong.

"No, you don't mean that." Luke's angry, upset. What did he miss? He made sure everything was perfect, he got rid of Calum. Ashton is in love with him and the only obstacle that was standing in their way is gone now. This doesn't make any sense.

"I do. You've been playing some sick games, Luke. I can't even begin to-" Ashton takes a deep breath through his nose, "Please leave." 

It's harsh. Not a plea. A demand. It makes Luke upset. Luke does not want to feel upset. Not anymore.

"You're not thinking right, Ashton. You don't mean what you're saying, he's just brainwashed you. He turned you against me and he's still stuck in your head. I don't know how but I'll get him out, I will."

"This can’t be happening.” Ashton presses the bottom half of his palms into his eyes and groans in a way that comes out more like a growl. He looks up at Luke again, “This has nothing to do with Calum. Do you not see how wrong it all is? Everything you’ve done? This is all you. This isn’t right. None of this should be happening.” Ashton shakes his head like he’s in denial, like it’s all too much.

He turns around and pulls the door open, walking through it with purpose.

“Where are you going?” Luke calls after him and jogs to catch up.

“To find Calum.”

“No!” Luke doesn’t think, he just acts. He slams his body into Ashton, pushing him through the nearest half-open door.

Ashton stumbles and falls, hitting the back of his head on the bathroom floor. He squints and rubs a hand to his head as Luke closes and locks the door behind them, taking the tiny key out of the hole and pocketing it.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, but you can’t go after Calum, you can’t. That is the last thing you should do.” Luke’s panicking, he never thought this would happen.

“Luke,” Ashton says as he pulls himself up, resting his weight on his forearm, “What’s happened to you?” The anger has melted away into something else. Something softer, something sadder. Luke heard the same tone on Calum the morning he came back. He doesn’t understand it, and he certainly doesn’t like it.

“Nothing’s happened to me, Ash. I’m the same old Luke. I’m your best friend,” Luke tries for a smile but he knows it doesn’t really reach his eyes. “And, even better, I could be so much more than that too.” Luke kneels down in front of Ashton. Ashton sits up and backs away slightly. “I love you, Ashton. Why isn’t that enough? Why won’t you say you love me too? I know you do, I know it.”

“No, no, I told you, I don’t. I don’t love you like that. You need to listen to me.”

Luke grabs Ashton’s leg, grip tight, “Stop lying! Stop it!” His voice is loud and he’s upset; this isn’t _right_. “I did so much for you! I bruised myself for you, Ashton! Just so we could be together! Look.” Luke shoves his arm in Ashton’s face, finger shaped marks staining the skin purple and blue. “I _love_ you. I’d do anything for you, I did so much already. Look, Ashton, look what I did for love.” Luke moves forward even more, crowding Ashton until he can see nothing but Luke.

"Stop it. Stop." Ashton scoots further away from Luke, back pressed up against the bathtub, with a horror-stricken face. "You're fucking insane."

"Don't SAY THAT!" Luke slams his fist down on the tiled floor, skin on the knuckle of his pinky finger breaking. "I'm not crazy. I'm not." He shakes his head viciously, "I'm in love."

"No, no, this isn't love." Ashton's looking at Luke like he doesn't know who he is. That makes Luke want to cry and punch something. 

"Stop looking at me like that." He chokes on the beginning of a sob.

"Like what, Luke?"

"Like you don't even know me."

Ashton doesn't say anything, he just keeps on looking at Luke with the same expression as before.

Luke lunges forward and cups Ashton’s face in his hands. "Look at me. Look at me, Ashton, really look." Luke's shaking, tears falling freely down his face, voice trembling, "You know me, Ash. You know me. You know I'm only doing this out of love. Everything I did - it was for you."

"Luke, please-"

"No, no, don't talk. You don't need to talk. We've done too much talking, too much." Luke's shaking his head. His eyes are blown wide, bloodshot and teary. "I just- I need to remind you how much you love me too."

Luke doesn't miss the way Ashton's face screws up slightly. 

He drops his hands to clutch on to Ashton’s arms. "I know you love me, Ashton. I know you do. You've said it yourself, a hundred times.”

"As a friend, Luke." Ashton says softly, voice strained and uncomfortable.

"NO!" Ashton flinches. "No, not as a friend! I know it was more, we, we have a connection. I just have to remind you."

Luke pushes his lips against Ashton's, hungrily kissing him, willing Ashton to kiss him back. Ashton pulls his head to the side, breathing deeply. Luke thinks he looks afraid but that can't be right. Ashton loves Luke, he shouldn't be afraid. 

"Kiss. Me." Luke says in between rough kisses to his neck. 

"Luke, stop. Please, stop it."

Luke doesn't stop, Luke's forgotten how to stop. He has a strong grip on Ashton's forearms, strong enough to leave bruises. Just like the ones Luke made for himself to frame Calum. They match. They're soulmates.

Luke pulls away to show Ashton his arm, "Look, look, see, we're gonna match. You and I, we match." He pulls Ashton's head around to face him again and presses his forehead against Ashton's. "I'd do anything for you." He whispers like the walls are listening. Maybe he thinks they are. Maybe the walls are gonna take Ashton from him next.

Ashton is visibly paler than before, and his eyes don't hold that warmth they always used to. When Luke looks in Ashton's eyes, it feels a bit like he's watching him drown. 

"Your eyes don't look right. But that's okay, baby. We'll make them warm again. No more deep-sea drowning, I'm gonna save you, Ash. I'm gonna take you to shore. We're gonna bathe in the sun. Just the two of us. Just the two of us. You and me. I'll put the warmth back, I promise. I promise." Luke rambles as he pushes his nose against Ashton's, closing his eyes. 

He goes to kiss Ashton again, softly. Ashton still doesn't respond. But he doesn't look away this time. The word "tired" is ringing in Luke's head.  

Luke kisses him and tastes his own salty tears. Ashton sits there, cold and still.

It makes Luke sad. This isn't how it was supposed to go. Ashton is supposed to kiss him back, kiss him back, kiss him back, "Kiss me back, kiss me  _back_."

Luke feels Ashton's lips go into a tighter line before he hears a sniff. Luke pulls back to look at Ashton properly. He's crying, but he looks like he really, really doesn't want to.

Ashton’s voice comes out low, broken, “Please.” He breathes deeply to stop the tear threatening to spill, “Stop.”

Luke stands up, staring down at Ashton, who lifts a hand to press gently to the back of his head. It must still be hurting from the fall.

“Ashton, you don’t have to make things so difficult.” Luke can hear his voice and it sounds on the verge of defeated. He is tired. It was never meant to be this hard. “I never wanted to hurt you. I just wish you would open your eyes and see that we’re meant for each other. We should be together. Every minute we’re apart is just wasted time.” Luke’s pleading, his face bleeding desperation. “Just say you want me too.”

Ashton looks up at him, lips turned down at the edges, eyes hard, "I will never want you. Not like that. Especially not now. Not ever."

Something switches inside Luke.

"So that's it then?"

"That's it."

Luke lets his face go blank.

"I see." He nods curtly and steps towards the door, unlocking and opening it before turning around and locking it shut again.

He can hear Ashton protest from inside.

Luke doesn't have a lot on his mind, in this moment. He just sees grey. Then he sees red. 

He walks calmly down two sets of stairs to the basement. Once he finds what he is looking for, he makes his way up the stairs again, always looking ahead.

There is a certain serenity to the silence of a house at night. Luke basks in it, breathing in and out slowly, carefully. 

As he nears the end of the hall where the bathroom is, he can hear Ashton talking through the door. He's bargaining with Luke, like he thinks Luke's been sat there the entire time. When the bargaining stops, the begging begins. Luke stands and listens to it for a little while and reminds himself how much he loves Ashton. He smiles just a touch. 

"You really don't love me, Ashton? You really don't ever want to be with me?" He asks through the door, voice smooth and controlled.

"Luke, please, if you just let me out we can talk-”

"I’ll take that as a no."

Luke rests the can of petrol against the floor and unscrews the lid.

He begins to pour the liquid along the crack of the bathroom door, splashing some up it for good measure. He then starts to walk backwards down the hall, leaving a trail of petrol as he goes. Luke carries on down the stairs, through the short hall and to the front door. He opens it with one hand, kicking it open more with his foot as he steps through it, coating that door with half of the remnants.

With the rest, he walks a trail back from the house, tipping out petrol until there is nothing left to tip out.

He stills for a moment, he thinks he hears screaming in the distance. Maybe that's just his mind playing tricks on him. Minds have a funny way of doing that. 

Luke chuckles to himself lightly, thinking he could have saved himself so much hassle if he'd thought of this sooner. 

Then he goes quiet, solemn, because he thinks it's a real shame. They could have been great, Ashton and him. 

Luke isn't too sad, though. He knows they'll meet again. They're soulmates. They're meant to be.

He does feel a bit angry. He still thinks this is Calum's fault. And maybe Calum will admit that, one day. Maybe Calum will pay for everything he's done. Maybe Calum will wake up tomorrow morning and know it was Luke that poured the petrol, but he may as well have handed him the can.

Luke thinks about Ashton again. And he's content. He knows he's doing the right thing. There is only one place where Ashton should be, and that's with Luke. 

If Ashton can't see that just yet then that's fine. Luke would wait a thousand lifetimes for Ashton. 

It's still a shame though. He thinks they would have been great in this one.

Too many obstacles, he supposes.

Luke takes one last deep breath and kisses the air in the direction of the house.

Ashton is his world.

If Luke can't have him, no one else can.

 

So, he drops the empty can of petrol to the ground.

Steps back.

Lights a match.

Flicks the flame into the fuel.

And watches the world burn.

 

 

 

 

 

                               

      


End file.
